If the child often says these 3 words, that there are psychological problems, do not miss his distress signal
As children grow up, they are no longer so close to their parents, have more ideas, and are no longer so obedient when talking to their parents…That’s the ultimate truth about parenthood.Many parents are finding that their children seem to be “rebelling” earlier and earlier, with some children talking back to their parents from the age of six or seven.Such as “you could have let me go anyway”, “It’s my fault, it’s my fault again” and “It’s all your fault”, etc.It’s not that the kids are rebelling early, but that they are having trouble communicating with their parents and are sending them a distress signal. Can you hear that?Recently, a colleague was worried about her child. The mother and son, who used to be kind and filial, often couldn’t get together. Not only did they feel uneasy about each other, but the child often said angrily to her, “You can’t…”My colleague said that the winter vacation began and I wanted to ask my child if there was any vacation planning.Result son answer: classmate organization go skiing, anyway you also can’t let me go, don’t ask about.That was the end of their conversation.Angered by her son’s attitude, she chased her son into his room and asked what kind of attitude he was having. Without looking up, her son threw it at her and said, “It’s all my fault, it’s my fault again.”This time, my colleague felt that the problem seemed to be serious. When did he blame his child for no reason?Have you ever wronged him?There are children who take responsibility for their mistakes and those who rely on others for everything.This is a video that has caused outrage on the Internet, showing a girl sitting on the subway with her mother carrying a large bag with her hands easily in her pockets.However, after getting off the bus at a certain station, the girl kicks her mother angrily because she finds that she got off at the wrong station, and claims that it is all your fault. This is typical ignorance and self-reliance.Of course, any parent who hears a child’s words like this will be angry, but don’t be so angry, calm down and seriously think about what the child’s “angry words” mean.one”Anyway…”This can be interpreted as “No matter what, nothing should be done.”In other words, “you can’t let me go anyway” can be translated as “you can’t let me go even if my classmates organize skiing.”It is easy to understand what the child means when he breaks it down. In fact, he really wants to go but thinks his mother will not agree.two”It’s all my fault” can be interpreted as “No more discussion or communication. Whatever you say is because I didn’t do well, you are blaming me, so I apologize and the conversation is over.”3.”Blame you” means that the child blames everyone else for everything, whether it’s getting off at the wrong station or being delayed, or having trouble getting on the bus again. This is all caused by the mother’s misreading of the station, but she doesn’t think she is at fault or responsible for anything.In the final analysis, if the child often says these 3 sentences, that there is a psychological problem, parents can not miss his distress signal, do not understand the trouble.What should parents do?When children often say these “angry words”, parents need to correctly understand the meaning of the words, find ways to help children through the current predicament.First of all, when a child begins with “anyway”, it must have been something or several events that had been decisively rejected when the child asked for their parents’ advice, causing the child to be very hurt and not expecting similar things next time.Parents should be kind to the child’s appeal for positive “interpretation”, and ask the child whether this means, and tell the child that this is a good thing, mother will of course agree, can do.At the same time, don’t forget to tell the child that the mother respects the child’s idea very much, as long as it is reasonable will agree and support, next time can directly ask the mother can go.Secondly, “It’s all my fault” means that parents have arbitrarily attributed similar situations to their children in the past, so they simply admitted it in advance and don’t need to discuss it any more.At this point, parents should pay attention to the child’s negative “commitment”, and find the right opportunity to communicate and explain right and wrong, as far as possible to let the child before “wronged” to refute the knot in the heart.Make right and wrong more objective, will be more convincing to both sides.Finally, if the phrase “it’s up to you” is often used, it’s time for parents to let go.If parents are to blame for being late for school, missing breakfast, failing an exam, or unlacing a shoelace, then parents are too much in charge and it is time for their children to finish their own work and take their own responsibilities.Don’t try your best to bring it up and raise an ungrateful, ineffectual, unproductive Wolf.Dad’s message: As parents, in addition to meeting the material needs of children, we should also pay attention to their spiritual world.When a child sends a “distress signal” to parents, parents should be more patient to analyze the reason, and find the right way to help the child solve the dilemma, so that the sunshine and confidence of the child grow up with, so that honesty and closeness become the basis of parent-child relationship.